Her Story: Tammy Franklin
her |həː, hə| pronoun 1 used as the object of a verb or preposition to refer to a female person: Her beauty radiates from the inside out.
Tammy Franklin is known by many as the wife of gospel singer, Kirk Franklin. But at Equipped by Faith, we know Tammy as an incredible mother, an encourager and supporter of women of all ages and backgrounds, and beautiful testament to God’s grace and provision as she encourages others to live in this kind of God-given authority and lives out her life verse of 2 Peter 1:3:
“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who has called us by His own glory and goodness.”
Tammy is an Arlington, Texas native who is passionate about family and women. She’s been happily married to her best friend, GRAMMY Award-winning gospel artist, Kirk Franklin, for 24 years. Together, they have four children ranging from ages 19 to 31. Prior to marrying Kirk Franklin, Tammy was a single mother for 5 years and knows first hand the hurt and shame of disappointing her self and family after becoming pregnant as a freshman in college. But, it was the added heartache of being ridiculed and overly judged by her church community that eventually led Tammy to want to help fill a void for young girls and women who find themselves in similar situations.
Having walked through disappointments, shame, rejection, but also great joy, and success, Tammy now has a desire to nurture, encourage, and equip women of all ages to be who they are created to be. Believing that when women come together to share both their triumphs as well as their failures, an atmosphere of real authenticity is created!
Read more about Tammy's heart in our interview below!
Q&A with Tammy Franklin
1. How did you and your husband, Kirk Franklin, meet?
We met several times throughout our lives and it wasn’t until years later (and several girlfriends and boyfriends later) that we decided to be together. I didn’t know if I wanted to be in ministry—I didn’t feel good enough, pretty enough, or ready. But God decides when we are ready. He equipped me for the calling. Kirk proposed to both me and my daughter with rings—I knew he was the one I wanted to be with. I knew God would continue to equip me for the ministry and our calling together.
2. What are some of the obstacles you have had to go through to get to this point?
There was a 4 year off and on period of marriage counseling for us. He would be on tour but he would fly home on his off day so we could go to counseling. You see our relationship on Instagram, but we have intentionally put in the work. We really nurtured the friendship part of our relationship and we determined to be honest with one another.
3. How did having children change the dynamic?
When we married we both had children of our own. Having kids was an adjustment—but not like you’d think. Kirk didn’t have much of a childhood and came with a lot of childlike qualities. So I often felt like the adult in the relationship.
4. What is your best parenting advice?
Keeping our marriage intact. If we are intact—it will flow down to your children. Especially with moms. There’s so much energy we put into our kids—put your partner first.
5. Tell us a moment in your life when God became real to you?
I grew up in a very, very driven household in a denomination that was very religious. My grandmother was very strict but sprinkled Jesus on everything—and that began a journey for me where God’s presence was very scary for me. I was only taught about God’s wrath—not His love. As I began my own journey of just coming into relationship with God I began to understand who he really was. When I got pregnant my freshman year of college and the church began to shame me, I became so depressed I almost moved into a home for pregnant girls. I wanted to keep my child—but so many people were discouraging me and telling me to put my baby up for adoption. But I had a dream one night of my little girl—the little girl in the dream just said, “God loves you and he’s with you.” And that moment began my true relationship with God.
6. How did healing occur in your marriage?
We both brought our own issues and our own backgrounds into our marriage. I was legally adopted and I had many things that happened in my childhood that I needed to work through later in life. Kirk fought loud—and I couldn’t keep up with that. We had to fight for our marriage—and I thank God for the godly people in our lives that encouraged us in that. I thank God for a husband who was willing to go to counseling—but we both had to be willing to do the work.
7. What would you tell women who are single and in the “waiting” season?
According to Paul in Corinthians, it’s better to stay single. *LOL* Be preparing yourself. Focus on yourself and not so much on marriage. Marriage is not the end-all-be-all. It’s not the sum total of who you are. Your ultimate goal in life is not a ring and the change of your last name. Focus on your own growth and relationship with the Lord. Be okay being single.
8. How do you stay encouraged and inspired when you feel hopeless?
My faith. Being in the Word. Remember, what you are dealing with is temporary. Bring it to God—sometimes problems are there to develop your character. My sisterhood and community—they always encourage me. I don’t have time for drama. I love having a close group of girls that surrounds me. I love having people I can call when I’m having a problem and they’re going to pray with me, encourage me in a Biblical way, and not allow me to speak against my husband. They give me godly, honest answers. They encourage me in my growth in the Lord. My mom showed me how to live this way.
9. How do you guard your relationship with the Lord?
Sometimes it’s getting up earlier. Sometimes it’s going to bed later. It’s nice to have isolated time with Him—but I always talk to God at any time of the day. But studying the Word is so important.
10. Favorite scripture of the moment (or ever)?
"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3
Thank you, Tammy! We were so encouraged by your genuine openness and beauty that radiates from the inside out!
Be sure to mark your calendars for next month’s Equipped by Faith gathering with our friend, Cheryl Jackson!
XO-
Equipped by Faith